I just finished reading all my old blog posts from2018. The first one was posted July 30, 2018 and the last September 21, 2018. A lot has happened in the last 7 years. I went to work full time in the Spring of 2019, we moved within our hometown twice, we lost several loved ones in our family while gaining some new members, Cody’s career still manages to amaze me and bless us at the same time, my kids are now 17, 13, & 11, and oh yeah….as of this school year, I am back to being a stay at home mom.
Man, the amount of life that we have lived in the last 7 years seems impossible to try and catch up on so maybe I won’t. I am sure things will come up as I post, IF I decide to keep this up. At the moment it seems like a healthy way to get my thoughts out.
The last year has been one of the most confusing and yet clear times for me. Confusing because I don’t understand fully why God has me on the path he does, but clear because I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. The peace God has given me is what I cling to most days.
I stated above that I went back to work in 2019. I took a full time position at Eden CISD . In short it was perfect and I loved it! It allowed me to be at school while the kids were in school and home during all their breaks. However, I can’t make it sound completely perfect because nothing ever is. Cody, still travels a lot and has for the last decade. Working, keeping up with a household, 3 kids, and a full time job while Cody is gone is stressful. Not just for me, but for Cody too. I know a lot of people do it and so was I.
In October of 2024, my family went to visit some friends of ours in the country (Ceth & Kendra) and look at some sheep. My boys love our sheep herd and when they found out about a bottle feeding contraption that our friend had made they wanted to see it. If anyone knows anything about bottle feeding baby lambs or any farm animal, it’s that it is only fun for a day or two!
While we were visiting, I spent time with Kendra. She stays home with her two kids, home-schools, helps with farm chores, does all the things needed to support her husband and kids, makes jewelry, dehydrates/freeze dried things, cans all the goods, and many other things that I won’t list. It brought back a ton of memories. I used to bake, cook meals, run a household, support my husband in his endeavors, and many other things. Gosh, how long has it been since I made a loaf of bread?? The evening went on and after dinner and an epic Nerf gun war, we called it a night and loaded up in the truck to head home. When I was climbing in the truck I looked at Cody and said, “I miss staying home.” Wait, what? Did that just come out of my mouth? He simply replied, “Well, it’s always an option.” This brought about many conversations and within a couple weeks I was putting in my notice at work that I would not be returning for the 2025-2026 school year.
Now some may never truly understand how difficult this decision was and that’s OK. My job meant a lot to me. When it came open in 2019 I was facing a new chapter. My kids, who had taken up every single second of my life for the last 11 years, were all starting school. I was left wondering what that meant for me. All I had ever been was a mom and while I understand, more now than ever, the importance of that, I still wondered if I was capable of more. This job showed me that I was. I not only loved my job, but I think I was pretty good at it. So for God to be changing my heart so quickly was very confusing for me. However, the peace that came when I said “yes” to this is unexplainable. From the moment I put in my notice God showed me time and time again what He had in store for me.
Cody has always been supportive of anything I thought I might want to do. Looking back over the years I have tried a lot of random things. From the moment I became a stay at home mom in 2008, I was always trying to figure out a way I could still contribute financially. I am quite certain, looking back, that the first office Cody helped me put together in our home in Deming, NM was in fact a scam. I was scamming people. I never made a dime, but he was there to help in any way he could. He was there to celebrate this job at the school when I got, knowing how much it meant to me and he has been the one to reassure me that we will be OK without it. This is something he has to do almost daily.
Coen is a SENIOR!!! I don’t even know how we got here so fast. It’s something I am not sure I ever let myself think about for long…it’s too sad and I’m not ready. But God is blessing me with time. Time to slow down for his senior year, time to make our house a home that we were blessed with last year, time to clean, time to cook & bake, time to visit more with my parents, my grandmother (96 and still at home), time to appreciate the little things, and try to be a better human. (Please don’t hold me to that.)
At dinner last night Keyton said, “Mom, it was nice having you at school and knowing you were always there, but these meals you’ve been making lately are even better!” and then today at lunch Coen was eating some cookies I made Tuesday and said, “Mom, you make the best cookies. We are almost out. You should make some more.” These are the things I am being called to do. When the kids say these things, it reaffirms what I already know.
This chapter of my life is exciting and scary for me, but I am going to try and embrace the beauty of it too. It may not be forever. Who knows what God has for me next. If one thing is certain, it’s that He likes to keep me on my toes.
Déjà Drue 