Guilt a mother feels anytime she takes time to do something for herself, outside of work, that does not involve her children.
After barely seeing my children all week due to work, I had horrible ‘mom guilt’ when dropping them off at the sitter so I could go to the gym.
I want to start by telling y’all that I found the above definition in the Urban Dictionary. For those of you who aren’t familiar with what the Urban Dictionary is, here is a quick definition: Urban Dictionary was intended as a dictionary of slang, or cultural words or phrases, not typically found in standard dictionaries, but it is now used to define any word or phrase.
I personally feel that ‘mom guilt’ should be in the good old Websters Dictionary because it is a REAL thing that all mothers suffer from! Mom Guilt is the worst. I bet it rears its ugly head at me at least once a day! I will tell you about yesterday though. NO JUDGING IN MY BLOG ALLOWED! LOL!!!
Yesterday, I woke up, did my normal daily readings, posted my blog, sat with Karsin while she watched TV, scrolled Facebook, got Keyton/Karsin breakfast, and finally forced Coen out of bed at noon. I can’t believe he is already sleeping till noon. I thought I had a few more years before that would start. Any way, after he woke up I said it was time do something to stimulate their little brains. I sat on the couch with Keyton while he read me a book (that is a topic for a blog in itself!) and Coen did some math. When we finished that it was 2pm and we were all still in our PJs. Keyton was dying to go outside, but I just wanted to lay back down in bed. All the kids came in my room and crawled in bed with me begging for us to do something. That was when the ‘mom guilt’ hit, “why am I being so boring and lazy today? These poor kids are stuck inside this apartment and just want some fresh air. Gosh your are a crappy mom today.” At that moment I looked outside and it was POURING down rain. I talked them into Pizza delivery and a movie. That takes us all the way till 5:30pm…we are all in our PJs and have done NOTHING all day. ‘Mom Guilt’ is still sticking around telling how bad I’ve been and thinking about these “poor” kids. I decided to start doing some chores so that when Cody got home he wouldn’t see the truth of my day. Cody walks in a little after 6pm and Keyton yells, “Dad, we have been in our PJs ALL day! Will you PLEASE take us to the park!?” *insert blank stare* I’m acting like Cody had no clue that I was being worthless, He did. I had text him earlier cause I was feeling so guilty about doing nothing. He was the one that suggested the pizza! Yes, I know….he’s pretty great! So, after Cody eats, he gets the kids dressed and ready to go hit the park. He asks me if I want to go and even though I would love to spend time with him, I did NOT want to go! SO, I stayed and fought the ‘mom guilt’ for a while. Till I reminded myself how important it was for both Cody and the kids that they have their alone time too!
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we put even more pressure on us than we already have? This life of raising kids is hard enough with out all the added guilt! You know the saying “You can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself first”? Well, the same is true that “You can’t take care of someone if you don’t take care of yourself first”! We all pour so much into our families. I talked about this the other day when I blogged on being unappreciated. If you missed it here is the link, This is a tough one
We all have to learn that it is OK for us to take some time for US. Whether its an extra long shower, a walk alone outside, a trip to the salon, a night out with friends, a date night with your spouse, getting a job, or even locking yourself in the bathroom after your husband gets home with your favorite snack and drink. (don’t know where that came from. I have NEVER done that! *insert wink*) We need to stop feeling guilty about focusing on what we need. We can’t be at our best if we don’t take some time for self care.
When Cody and the kids got back they were all four so happy! They made memories with dad, burned a ton of energy, and didn’t miss me for a second! I was happy to see their faces and actually enjoyed bath time with them which I had been dreading just a few hours before. The time apart was needed!
I don’t think I will post blogs over the weekend, so I want to challenge anyone and everyone who read today’s blog. I challenge you to be aware of your feelings, know when you need a break, make plans for that. Do at least one “me” thing over the weekend. I want to hear about what you make the time to do. Even if it is sitting on the toilet eating oreos! (i’ve never done that either, STOP JUDGING ME!) When you have done something for YOU, comment below about it.
I love you guys! Especially you, yes you, the one reading this that is thinking there is NO way that you can make some ‘me time’ happen. You can do it! AND you will be so glad you did!
Déjà Drue 
Although I’ve got the kids with me, I’m out training my dog. One of the kids asked me this morning why we have to go training all the time. I said it’s because that is the activity mom LOVES and in this family we support each other. The response, “I sure wish you loved staying home,” LOL
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That’s hilarious!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂
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I also love your response to them! You are right. We need to teach our kids that even though we may not like something we have to be supportive
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Lov this post!! Mom guilt is real – and we all need to take time to do the things that just bring us back to earth. Hoping to find time to read this weekend for ME time!!
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This is so true! Since I’m a teacher I have had the whole summer off. There are days I take DJ out and about and we do things. Other days I stay home and we watch way too much tv. On those days I feel the mom guilt. I feel guilty that people are out there working hard and I’m sitting at home in my pjs. Then I remind myself that soon enough I’ll be back at work away from my sweet boy and doing everything but sitting! I for sure need to do more for myself and I will take you up on the challenge. Love you Drue! You’ve always been someone I look up to and know I get to read your insight on this blog! I love it.
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❤️❤️❤️ i love you too Anna!!! Melia reminded me this morning that guilt is NOT a feeling of God! Satan uses guilt to his advantage
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Guilty of Mom guilt here! Work has been crazy! Running kids to and fro in addition to that has me exahusted! I have dug deep in to my appointment book and found a whole week, after school starts, to take off from the salon! Not sure what I’m gonna do. At this point, don’t know and don’t care LOL!
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I love this! GOOD for you! I say spend one day in front of the tv in your pjs! 😂 as useless as i felt yesterday, I was charged and ready for today!
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Yes, we all feel Mom guilt, but the truth is you, Drue, are a great mom! Keep raising those kids for the Lord and they won’t even remember those few times you needed your lazy days!
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❤️❤️ thank you, friend! 😘
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