Word Vomit

WORD VOMIT-A point in a conversation where you say something that you really didn’t mean to.

I honestly feel like this is the story of my life! I have a HUGE problem with reacting to a situation with out thinking about the best way to handle it first! I could write a book on all the times I spoke with out thinking. My mom could probably write one too and it would consist of completely different stories. Taking all stories into consideration, I still think it is best to use the most recent example.

Yesterday evening, I was sitting on the couch cuddled up with Karsin, listening to 2 boys make a ton of racket! I had already told them multiple times to calm down and to stop fighting before some one got hurt! So, when Keyton comes walking in to the living room with a sad look on his face, my first thought is that he was about to tattle on Coen for being mean to him. But then, I noticed he was holding something behind his back. I asked him what he was holding and he brought broken sunglasses out from behind his back. Not just any sunglasses, my sunglasses. Needless to say I was not happy. I asked him why he had my sunglasses in the first place and he threw Coen under the bus a quickly as possible. I called Coen into the living room so I could ask him why he had my sun glasses to begin with, but I cut him off before he could even answer. I was too busy ‘word vomiting’ all over them to hear what they had to say. I knew they wouldn’t have an answer that would magically bring my sunglasses back. I had put my sunglasses up by my purse. That meant that Coen had made the decision to take them from their safe place and into their room to do only God knows what. Am I the only one who can’t seem to keep a pair of sunglasses for more than a couple months? I go through more pairs of sunglasses than I can count. Cody gets annoyed that I always seem to have a new pair, but it’s like my kids see them as an untouchable toy. They always end up scratched from Karsin rubbing the lenses on some surface, sat on, stepped on, lenses popped out, lost…you get the idea. This is why I don’t allow myself to spend more than $10 on a pair.

I over reacted to the situation when I yelled at the boys for breaking yet another pair of my sunglasses. I said some very unkind things. The point of it all wasn’t the glasses. It was that they had broken something of mine. I had responsibly put them away so that they wouldn’t be messed with! After I calmed down, I had the fun conversation where I got to admit that I was wrong in the way I handled things. I had to apologized for what I said while I was angry. This is disappointing because they were in the wrong for having my sunglasses. They had no business messing with them. They did deserve a punishment and a small lecture. The way I handled the situation though, turned the lecture into why you shouldn’t react in anger instead of why you shouldn’t take things that aren’t yours. My actions in response to what they had done ended up being worse. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO TAKE A BREATH FIRST? I should have said, “Boys, go to your room till I am ready to talk.” Then I could have calmly gone over the situation and made my point with out that dang ‘mom guilt’ slamming me up against the wall!

How many of you say things in life that you wish you could take back? If you didn’t raise your hand then we can’t be friends and you need to leave this blog immediately! WE ALL DO!!!! Maybe we say a cuss word in front of our kids and then kick ourselves in the butt for it later. (not me though, mom, I would never do that) How many times have we gone a little too far when yelling at our kids, only to regret it later. (again, not me, mom. I don’t have a temper) How many times have we gotten mad in the check out line, or at a waitress, while driving, etc? We all do this because guess what, we are human. Our kids will see us act that way occasionally. It’s not to late though to try and change our behavior. I know they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but I hope that’s not true! I am challenging myself today. I am going to try and not react to situations that come up and trust me, with three kids, something always comes up. I am going to take a deep breath, count to 10 (maybe 20 or 30), say some quick prayers, and then see what happens. Hopefully I will be more calm, kind, and collected.

They say God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, but sometimes I think he sees me stronger than I see myself!